Pretty High On Sugar.

I'm really a deep thinker. In fact, our brain starts talking to ourselves the moment we wake up.

Same thing for mine. I think 24/7, even when I'm asleep, I subconsciouly think. Maybe it's because that I think alot in the day, thus I get alot of dreams and nightmares, that seemed really real.

When I'm in deep thoughts, I miss the bus, I miss the train and sometimes even a step. So I think I'll just probably die one day due to accidents while in deep thoughts.

So, the main point is that, it occured to me that in this life, there's two ways to be rich:

1. Have rich and generous parents, and you don't have to fork out a cent for your expenses, including your holiday trips, just stretch out your hands, and kaching....... the money is yours.

2. Work extra hard, and extra hard. (Plus good finance management)

And I belong to no. 2, sometimes I can't help but feel sour about how some people can boast about their family and even what their parents have to offer. While I have none. Anyway I also realised how people around like to keep talking about themselves and their problems but when it comes to me, they aren't even interested to listen. Or I'll seem very whiny and grumpy. So I chose to keep it inside.

Recently, I kept having recurring dreams of myself smoking, and I went to google the meaning of this dream. I feel that it really depicts what is happening in reality.

I was really angry when a prospect, texted me like 5 mins before I reached the meeting point that she couldn't make it. Not even a single apology or guilt from her.

When I called her on the mobile which I used to text her, she totally ignored. So I tried with another phone and, she picked up perhaps least expecting me. The tone was....... I was in awe, from her tone, she made it sound like I was some kind of creditor. I was in awe. A professional doing this kinda shit to me, as if I have alot of time to waste on people like her. To think I rushed and schedule my free time just to meet her, and she didn't have the courtesy to inform me earlier. Wtf seriously. The other time was this stupid yalam, who switched off his phone and when I reached the place? You know what happened.

I have made a fruitful trip down from one end, to the other. I had this strong sense of wanting to make my revenge. But the best revenge would be karma to them and me being a successul consultant one day.

To date, I have to swallow such humiliation. Like how some relatives don't seem to make my life better. What's wrong with me wanting to continue my business after I graduate? I have decided this is what I want to do, and I WILL do. "So you studied univerisity for nothing and end up selling insurance?" Wtf I wanted to say, please show some respect to my career, it's not just about SELLING insurance. I do more, I make a difference in people's lives, I educate people the importance of wealth accumulation and wealth protection. I help people plan their finances and ensure that their family is fully protected in times of crisis and unforseeable times.

I want to be focused and do what I want to achieve. I want to do MDRT. I want to be successful in this career and not do it 'just for fun'. I'm serious in this business. So please show due respect. I go for frequent trainings, I keep myself updated and help people around me, so do you still think it's only about 'selling insurance'? It's a relationship thing. My lifetime committment.

It's my life, I decide what I want to do. Not being judged by anyone. Why should I take up a so called proper 9 to 5 job and earning peanuts of $2-3k per month, when actually I can earn more, and proportionately based on hardwork?! So please don't talk crap like how I'm wasting away my degree. It's a degree, I have gained knowledge and perhaps friends whom I can keep for life. At the end of the day, there isn't such thing as 'waste of time'. I chose this path and I will never regret it.

"One Moment In Time"

A person without ambition, succumbs to none.

I have been an amibitious person since young, and this is what has made me come till this stage, I may not be there yet, but I'm very sure I'm very near to what I want to be.

To me, money means security, it also means power. And being brought up in such a family background, it has made me realised the significance of this subject, much much more. I have a bunch of bootlicker relatives who only attend to the people who are rich. I can feel the prejudice, the disdain from such hypocrite people. Thus it made me even more hungry for success.

I will become what I want to become.

This is the first time, after 1 years and 2 months that I got put plane by a prospect. Fucking hell, stupid yalam.

One day, you'll see my name "Michelle Lee" on top of the list.

Soon enough.

For 2011, I'm proud to say that I have achieved 6 out of 8 of my resolutions. And this year I strive to be better with my new goals!

1. Excel and graduate from university!
2. Exercise thrice a week at the gym.
3. Work harder and expand my client base.
4. Ensure I have activity at work.
5. Earn and save up $30k! 
6. Achieve QCE (so I can get promoted soon)
7. Stay optimistic no matter what.
8. Never give up!

And really there's this strong urge in me to make sure I achieve these goals.

The painting fell off the wall suddenly and I had to clear up the mess, pieces of shattered glass. THEN! I found this 4 digit number behind the wooden part of the portait! Darn,almost striked!!! Recently all the numbers that I have bought, are either missed by one digit or jump digits. Seriously, I think I don't have such luck. My luck will only come from my hardwork. Haha, don't worry I'm not turning into a compulsive gambler!I just...wanna try my luck and apparently... you know.

Something new, I've made my first purchase of physical gold with the help of a friend! And it so happens that the price was on the low. I predict it will rise when it is nearer to CNY. So.. window shopping, became a instant buy. The good news is, the price appreciated the next day! :)

It's like an achievement to me.

X'mas was well-spent with dinner at a chinese restaurant, where we went for granny's birthday in November. I did all the driving today! So tiring. I feel like a part time chauffeur. Overall, still a good day, with the cooling weather! Feels abit like aussie.

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year!

The weather has been rainy these days and it feels abit like xmas due to the cooler temperature. It has been about 26 degrees on average! But the rainy days has caused our Orchard Road to flood. And LKY once said, "if you dont want flood to happen, then 90% of Singapore has to be made into canals"

PLUS, whats getting on my nerves is actually the inefficiency of the SMRT services, they decreased the speed of their trains BUT NOT the price, so my journeys to work and home has PROLONGED. Pretty annoyed by it, and I almost became one of the victims to get stucked in the train for hours, luckily I managed to escaped because the client, brought forward the appointment.

I kinda love this year thus far, and I'm gonna write up my short reflections for the year 2011 and my new year resolution for the new year 2012 :) Stay tuned!

AND a Merry Christmas to everyone! <3

I can't help think about the whole damn issue again.

I'm thinking, either that I'm a shitty employee or the shitty person is my boss.

I understand that i have an attitude problem, but this is the way I am. I still don't see it as an issue, cos I believe everyone has their own attitude problems. So fuck it.

I don't understand why is there such an existence of a so-called leader. Is the person even qualified to lead me? Maybe I really lack the EQ like what the Master has told me before.

So the question bothering me now is, to remain tolerant till I reach the limit, or to just move on. It's a tough choice. I hate it when I have to make difficult choices in life.

Referring to the title, I tried looking from a mirror, but from each and every angle I have scrutinized and I really do not think the problem lies with me. Every word and sentence I told to close people around me, are nothing but facts. I do not make up stories to make myself seem victimized. And to those who know me well, should know well enough that I'm a very highly tolerant person, and I tend to bottle up alot. But this time, I have exploded, to the people around me, to judge the situation for me.

So, the conclusion is, I'm really frustrated about this.